Ten Reasons Mick and Molly will miss their Undisclosed Location

Mistress and I are headed back to River City on one of those annoying small planes that the “big” airlines make suckers who live in backwater towns fly on these days. We left a town where the pristine air was 60 degrees during our morning bike ride, with only 20 percent humidity.

Our destination is under a “Heat Emergency” of undetermined duration .

“Are these people crazy?”, you might ask? Well I suppose so. But one surly teen is home alone, no doubt with her boyfriend. And work calls. So it’s time to face the inevitable.

Beyond the weather here are ten things we are sure to miss in the days and weeks to come:

10. In River City, I can’t walk out the door and piss in the yard, with the excuse that I am saving scarce resources. I would be arrested for indecent exposure.

9. In River City the newspapers bring bad news everyday. But in our undisclosed location, the only newspaper is a weekly.

8. The rough hewn wooden beams at our cabin make it easy to screw in a hook, or bind a helpless slave, but in River City our woodwork is a bit too fragile to install such lashing points.

7. Can’t shoot my BB gun at prairie dogs in River City. And the SPCa would get in my face if I aimed at the neighbor’s cat.

6. Near our undisclosed location they let you wade into a private natural hot spring tub, nude (see the picture above), but in River City Mick and Molly get reprimanded at their swim club for an inadvertent PDA.

5. When someone offers you a cookie in our undisclosed location, you don’t have to wonder about how many calories it has, but whether it is loaded with “bud butter”.

4. In our undisclosed location, you have to steer clear of Big Horn Sheep and Black Bears; in River City you need to avoid Panhandlers and Tea Partiers.

3. Mistress be back to her 9-5 days and in a different time zone than her Master, making their erotic “dates” harder to schedule.

2. It will be Hard to schedule another naked Sunday anytime soon.

1.Mistress’s tan lines will reassert themselves. She did look fetching all naked and sun screened on that chaise lounge!