Earlier this week, in some back and forth at her blog site, “Finding My Submission”, Sin asked if I ever got jealous or insecure, now that Mistress has (and has exercised) the right to take other lovers.http://findingmysubmission.blogspot.com/
“It’s complicated”, is one way I can put it.
But the answer is, no, I don’t get either jealous or insecure.
At my age, approaching 60, I am pretty secure in who I am, what I have done with my life, and my relationship with Molly. If anything, maybe I am too secure.
I also have a great deal of faith in Molly. She and I have been together for more than 20 years. We have raised two girls now on the brink of adulthood (though you wouldn’t know it a good bit of the time). We have faced down challenges along the way. Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think a dalliance here or there by my beloved will threaten the life we have built together, so long as we are open and honest about it.
Nor do I get jealous. I am still the one that Molly comes home to (when she was seeing her starter Dom), and who she ends up sleeping with at night. As compared to most “old married couples” we know, we spend far more time together, whether we are having sex or just enjoying one another’s company.
If Mistress chooses to spend some of her time submitting to the charming voice of M, or flirting with a man she encounters at work, who am I to complain.
For me, our contract, and my willingness to “allow”, or even facilitate, her current cyber tryst ,or any other sexual adventures she might venture into, is about making Molly happy. I seem to have been wired that way.
So when I see Mistress all cheerful, perky and flirtatious as she chats with M over the phone, or notice how turned on she is after one of their little sessions with the power tool, well, I feel in my own way I have “shot and scored” too.
And I always seem to get paid back in full when Mistress turns her attention back to me and my cock.
Now I recognize that not everyone is wired this way.
M seems much more possessive and jealous when it comes to his own wife. And of course Mistress would never tolerate my involvement with another woman, as is her right, contract or no.
But there is an additional response I notice when Mistress is engaged in her extracurricular activities.
I do get a little competitive when I know Mistress is in the thrall of another man, or fancies one that catches her eye. I get that edge that says, “let her have her fling. Let her flirt away, but make sure you step up your own game a notch.”
And, just beneath the surface of that macho competitive thing is a strange excitement I get at the thought of her using or being used by another lover. A psychologist I spoke with once on the subject suggested that seeing another man attracted to your wife is a validation that you’ve chosen a winner. I get that.
But there must be something deeper to it . Why does my cock gets hard as Mistress describes how she would willingly fall to her knees and suck M’s cock, if only he’d allow it? Or says she is saving her virgin bottom only for him?
If anyone can give me a persuasive psychological profile explaining this whole, hot cuckold thing, please send me a link.
But I know our readers don’t come her for psycho-babble, so why don’t I share some examples:
Monday night, after feeding the teens, Mistress and Slave headed to a local roadhouse to hear a favorite troubadour. The place was packed with its usual combination of locals and tourists, many of them two stepping on the dance floor.
Molly was in a sexy, but understated short black dress, accented by some of her vivid southwestern jewelry. As we sat and watched the commotion on the dance floor, sipping a tequila and a Jamieson, I noticed that, as usual, Mistress was the hottest babe in the room.
And of course, a few of the cowboys, real or faux, were noticing that too.
At one point, Mistress excused herself from the table, presumably to “freshen up”. But as I scanned the room shortly after she left, I noticed her standing at the bar, engaging in conversation with the Manager, a handsome, athletic charmer, about her age, who has chatted her up on more than one occasion. His name is Mike (what’s with all these M guys).
Molly had talked – favorably – about Mike before. He is one of those guys who catches her eye.
Their body language was telling. Leaning into one another. His arm resting on her shoulder. Mistress touching his forearm as they chatted. Or maybe her hand running seductively though her own hair.
Since Mistress acquired her contractual right to take other lovers, she seems to exude a certain chemical / physical aura that ignites these types of encounters.
I did not want it to seem I was staring, so I went back to watching the spinning dancers a bit. But when I turned back to find Molly, she and Mike were gone.
That’s where my imagination took off.
I had them in some dark office in back, or maybe out in the parking lot, Mistress crouching to take his cock in her mouth, or maybe leaning across the hood of a car in the shadows out back, legs spread for him, showing off her clean shaven, dripping folds.
And of course, my cock was twitching in my jeans.
When Mistress came back a few minutes later, I shared my little fantasy with her. She just laughed. “Hmmm, not a bad idea Slave. Maybe someday.”
Or yesterday afternoon.
Work had caught up with us here at our undisclosed location. So we were sitting out on our patio, typing and conference calling away on some projects, as the teens made tie dye T-Shirts. (“Crafts Day” at Camp Collins!)
But through the morning, after our bike ride, I noticed Mistress shifting her attention from time to time to her I-phone.
When I raised an eyebrow, she laughed.
“He must be horny. He’s sending me little salacious messages, Slave.”
“Like what, Mistress?”
“Oh, the usual, I am spread across his desk. He’s spanking me, then he’s taking me from behind.”
But I could detect that Mistress was getting a little agitated in reaction to his messaging. She liked the attention. M was not the only horny one.
So I decided to act as a co-conspirator
“What if I get take the kids on a little outing, Mistress? Would that allow you to have a “date” with your friend”..
Her eyes lit up.
She tapped away.
“He says yes, but the sooner the better.”
Even Cyber Dom’s have to work sometimes.
So I hustled the kids out the door for a tour of some local Indian ruins, chased by an ice cream cone. I suspect that they did not know the urgency of leaving quickly. But they co-operated.
And Slave made sure the Hitachi was out and available, tucked under a pillow on our bed.
Mistress gave me a grateful kiss goodbye.
And as I was lapping my “Holstein Sunset” ice cream cone – organic of course – while thinking of Mistress writhing on our bed, power tool in hand, M ‘s seductive voice in her ear – well, you can imagine my physical response.
And when I got the text from Mistress – “Mission accomplished, Slave” – I knew all was clear for me to return the kids to their craft project, and collect my own reward.
Sin, does that answer your question?
3 comments:
i am with you on this one Mick. i'm not the jealous type either. And i'm all for openness and honesty. It's about finding the balance that works within the framework of your own dynamic.
i'm sad my triad never got to that point, but am happy that you and Mistress ARE there.
nilla
It is a very interesting thing, Mick and I really value your insights.
I feel little pangs every now and then, as I am sure does Husband Dear. For the most part though I think it is just about trust and security in yourself and your relationship. From there it is up to the two (or three or four or more) individuals within the relationship to define success. Sexy Sadie put a recent post up about open relationships (http://www.sadiesopenmarriage.com/2010/07/friday-qa-why-get-married-then/)
plus TBK's post about 'real' relationships (http://thebeautifulkind.com/columns/tbk-saga/what-makes-relationship-real) and they both got me thinking about why certain people are drawn into this lifestyle.
My end conclusion was that I didn't know, it didn't really matter and that time wasted thinking is less time doing! I have noticed that the increased desire to reinforce our relationship as 'primary' has really driven us to be more attentive and loving and that can only be a good thing!
Hi Mick, yes it answers my question very well. It truly doesn't bother you. Thanks. I think I am wired differently as you say. I thought I could do it, and tried but I guess I just couldn't after a while.
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