"Simone" and "Sam" have been forced to go on the Lam, after some sloppy security work exposed them to their potential "enemies". Fortunately, they've found help through the SBPP.
("Sex Bloggers Protection Program"). Follow their adventures here until its safe for them to resume their prior alter-egos.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Kicking Off Boot Week.... But First a Word From HR





In light of the events of the last week, it seemed time to remind all of our staff of policies in place to prevent workplace injuries and assure that medical leave serves it’s proper purpose here at UCTMW.

First, our generous medical leave and group health insurance benefits and policies are in place to assure that our associates are able to perform their jobs within the expected high standards of performance, without compromising their long term health or jeopardizing the health or safety of their fellow associates. Each UCTMW employee is lucky to have 5 fill sick days per year.

If you are unable to perform your job due to personal health concerns, please take advantage of your right to take a sick day, and be sure to visit your health care provider. The failure to immediately seek medical care may only lengthen your inability to perform your job, and exhaust sick days that might be necessary before the end of the year.

If illness or injury should arise from performing your job, and you have timely reported the incident to management with CREDIBLE evidence, UCTMW will also cover the cost of any co-payment or deductible with the proper receipts.

Of course, if you take a sick day, we expect you to call in before your shift begins, so we can make arrangements for a temporary replacement. If you are out for more than 2 consecutive days, we reserve the right to ask for a sworn statement from a licensed medical provider, attesting to your incapacity. Please provide a copy of your provider’s currently effective medical license to demonstrate his credentials, along with a medical release, signed by you so that we can question your provider and obtain copies of your medical chart in case we have further unresolved questions about your condition.

Because UCTMW takes care to make sure that it has no more than 50 employees based at any of its offices within 100 miles of another office, we do not follow the Family and Medical Leave Act. So if you burn up your sick days before returning to work, we have no obligation to return you to work in your former position. But have no fear, we will box up your personal belongings and return them to you, other than perishable items such as lubricants and condiments or edible panties.

Please remember that after taking 2 or more of your sick days, you must provide us 24 hours advance notice of your plans to return to work, as well as a statement from your health care provider releasing you to work with no limitations. We will expect you to hit the ground running after  an extended period of recovery, rest and relaxation. If your medical release is unconvincing, we reserve the right to send you to a physician we select, at your cost, for a return to work physical.

And under some circumstances, our CEO may elect to take matters into her own hands, and conduct a personal physical inspection of your “equipment”.

Finally, a reminder of our “Drug Free Workplace Policies”. A full copy of the policy is is in your manual at tab 321. Just a friendly reminder that the policy not only applies to recreational drugs and alcohol consumed during work hours, or impairing your ability at work. It also applies to prescription medication.

If you are using prescription drugs that may impact your ability to perform your job, please report the nature of your medication to your supervisor immediately. And remember that when using such medication you should not:

• Operate heavy machinery.
• Operate or direct the operation of power tools, no matter the purpose.
• Combine such medication with other mind altering substances unless your shift is done.
• Ride your bicycle to or from work.
• Text message or use your cell phone while riding your bicycle.

Are we clear on all that?

Your compassionate Director of Personnel and Risk Management,

Mick Collins.

Having gotten that out of my system, I can report we are back in River City. Here’s to kicking off Boots Week with a shot of Mistress in teh Chicago Subway over the weekend. And one of Donna’s hubby / master Bill. This shot covers his MIA activities during ass week, and shows off some very stylish combat boots. A Twofer, that I can only describe as gnarly.

We look forward to your comments and contributions.

Have a Presidential Day!


Serving B said...

Here's to boot week, and much continued happiness to you and yours!

beingaisha said...

Omigod, Mick - that's hysterical. Love your policies - if I weren't so happy with my own litle boutique blog, I'd wanna work for you! And your Mistress in her boots is gorgeous, as always. But -

the picture of Donna's Bill is top of the line. He outclasses just about everything. Although - I admit - I'm not sure the boots will win any awards. But the rest of the picture is clearly a winner.

Thank you, Donna and Bill!

I posted my own boot picture on my blog today - it was appropriate for the content - but will send to you also if you like.


P.S. You did not mention worshipping your Mistress even once today - I think that might be a first. Are you all ok?

Donna said...

Is there any question why I've been with that man for 32 years?

To have Molly's gorgeous, (conservative yet sexy) leather boots and Bill's firm yet squeezable butt on the same page almost overwhelms me.

And Mick, I looked over your Memo. When I told Bill I wanted to get screwed even more often, that isn't exactly what I had in mind.


msmarie said...

UCTMW - I love your blog. I admit that I'm still trying to figure out the lay of your land and all of the characters - but it is very fun. I love, love, LOVE the humor here along with the pics. MsMarie

WC said...

See what I have been telling you guys for months is true. The man is a heartless corporate bully.

The very badly treated


WC said...

See what I have ben telling you guys for months is true. The man is a heartless corporate bully. Nevertheless, i will perservere and come out the other side ok.

The very badly treated


Donna said...

So WC,

After reading today's memo with those very pointed HR comments about bicycle related injuries, I feel the need to offer my verbal support (Molly has BIG plans to take care of the more tactile support situations) to our very own UCTMW wounded warrior with fallen member. I saw some cock splints and a cock stretcher online yesterday; let me know if you need the links to those, although I wouldn't count on the cost being covered by the insurance plan at UCTMW.


Suzanne said...

WC - so nice to see you back. I do hope you are on your way to a full recovery....cock and all.

I'm very disappointed that I will be away for most all of boot week. I have to say, it seems to be off to a great start!

WC said...

Thank you for your support Donna and Suzanne. Maybe just maybe if we stand together, like the public emmployees of Wisconsin, and with the support of our benelovent CEO Molly Collins, we can prevail and have that corporate monster removed from any position authority. The man has let his position of power totaly corupt him. If we stand toghther brothers and sisters in arms we can return him to the mail room from wench he came. Believe it or not he was a very fine mail sorter, before he sucked up to the CEO and began his reign of terror. I call him old brown nosed Mick.

Power to the workers!

The new union steward,


Donna said...

Um, WC?

What drugs did they give you, Sir?

Any chance you may have you noticed that CEO Molly has a real thing for Mick; one of those forever-after heartfelt/storybook situations? And then a little farther south of the waistline, she seems to have a rather deep seated appreciation for what he does there before breakfast, after breakfact, between morning meetings, at lunchtime, at mid-afternoon break time, before dinner, after dinner and several times during the night? Every single day!

Time for me to suck it up (figuratively speaking in this particular situation), pull up my big girl panties (or thongs, as the case may be) and keep the job.

But I'll continue to send cards and moral support, okay?


WC said...

Yes Donna I said several months ago the those 2 have more sex than any couple in America. However, there is no reason that can't continue with Mick in the mail room. In fact it would give him even more worship time after being relieved of some of his duties.

As for the drugs they were various opiate based narcotics, all of which I am sure Hunter would have approved of.

But let me fill u in on the whole sorted back story. Last spring I was commenting to work on my bike as I do most days to save UCTMW gas money, and to keep UCTMW's green reputation alive and well.

While making the hour long ride in I was engaged in a very important conference call with our beloved CEO. Because I was riding one handed a wayward auto crossed my path and forced me to lock up the breaks.

I went over the handle bars and cracked a rib. No big deal I have broken ribs many times in the past. BUT when I requested a simple ace bandage to bind the wounded ribs, Mick Collins refused saying that I violated corporate policy by talking on the phone will illicitly riding a bike to work. The nerve of the man when I was engaged in important UCTMW business, WITH the CEO NO LESS.

That is how this sorry story of corporate greed began and has escalated to the point we have now reached where I am going to attempt to unionize the workers of UCTMW.

Come to think of it it will be perfect. From the mail room Mick will have much more free time to lavish worship on our beloved CEO and I will take control of all financial matters. Bernie Maddof's accountant has all ready agreed to solely audit my books, and under my direction the UCTMW's stock holders are sure to double their money each year!

You will be receiving your ballots in the mail soon and I know you will do the right thing and support me an union steward and CFO.

The soon to be in control,