While Slave was in town, trying to adapt to the vagaries of my profession here in Dag-Nag-It-Stan, Mistress was on her mission yesterday morning with Francois, our chef, and newly appointed IT Director.
She actually called me on her satellite phone (courtesy of the SBPP and D, our logistics specialist) to update me on the day's developments.
"Francois found the corner of the black market that specializes in high tech gadgets, Slave, and there was even this "Genius", with a black turtleneck and those colorful boots, who set me up with a brand new MacBook Air."
"Amazing. But I bet it cost an arm and a leg...."
"Actually, they took a Yak and a saddle, so. we're riding back double.... cozy, but it works."
"How is Francois doing, Mistress?"
"He's actually great... although it was a little embarassing...."
"How so, Mistress?"
"Once we selected what we wanted, he told this lady helping us ... maybe in her 50's.... to hurry up because we had to go home and get naked....."
"I'll bet she loved that....."
"Actually, she seemed to roll with it, Slave....maybe she wanted in on the action....."
I went back to work, and Mistress rode on back to the Yurt with her new toy.
Mistress and I had decided to meet after work in the Village after My mediation --- there was this big mess about a botched eunuch conversion and a pregnant member of a Warlord's harem. After she arrived on her Yak near sunset, we settled on a bench at the town square, and Mistress filled me in on the rest of her day.
"We got home and Francois supervised moving all of my files from my old laptop to the new one.... he really does know what he's doing...."
"Great.... I hate trying to do that.... and did he get a tip."
"He told me he'd take either cookies or sex, and that I don't look like a woman who bakes...."
"And so how did that go, Mistress.... I mean, I need details for the blog...."
We had walked over to a little tea shop, and were munching on some strange but satisfying confection, trying not to be too loud so as to disturb the other customers.
"We did what he calls the English saddle style."
I raised an eyebrow, curious....
"Me riding his cock facing him, rather than reverse cowboy...."
"I know you like that, Mistress.... so how many for you?"
"I'd say three, slave...."
Add those three to our morning sex, and Mistress had done well for herself. Plus an updated computer to boot (or re-boot).
We wanted to see if there was any village nightlife, so we asked the lady serving us tea if there was any late night fun in town she could direct us to. She blushed a bit, then scribbled a little map on a napkin, folding it and sliding it our way, so as not to be too obvious.
"This could be interesting, Mistress...."
Outside, the stars were out, and the surprisingly tart aroma of smoldering yak dung was in the air. It gets cold at night at these altitudes. Fortunately, D had equipped us with suitable down parkas.
We followed the crude map down sound narrow alleys until a dead end she had marked. There we found a small, low building, lit only by a single purple lantern glowing at the threshold. I tried the door -- locked -- but the faint sound of some strange tribal music filtered through the mud walls. So I knocked.
In a moment, the door opened a sliver.... we were appraised by an older, stooped gentleman in native garb, and apparently passed muster. My guess - he was willing to take a risk on us on the theory that these westerners had real dollars to spend.
As we stepped inside the sweet smell of contraband smoke filled the air....
I pressed my lips to Mistress's ear....
"Dang.... we've found ourselves a gen-u-wine opium den, Mistress." Looking around we noticed some rather unusual characters, sampling the available goodies.
"None of those robes and veils for the women in here, Mistress."
Neither one of us were into the "hard stuff", but we were in the mood for a beverage, and found our way to a bar tucked on the back. It was a little hard to communicate with the bartender, but with some pointing and gesturing we settled for what seemed to be the house specialty -- Fermented Yak Curd Shots. You could take them plain, or garnished with some crumbled wild boar bacon on top. It seemed better with bacon to me. But to each their own.
With shot glasses in hand we decided to explore a bit. The juke box was playing some rustic local band's cover of "Smoke on the Water", that seemed a little off-key to me, but then it also seemed to please the customers lounging about in various states of consciousness. Then, as we turned a corner to slide into a back room, we both did a double take.
"Shit.... it looks like the WC got lost on his way to the airstrip Mistress...."
"
9 comments:
Sam,
In regards to the 'home and naked' comment...Since I am always on the hunt for fresh ingredients, I always found out that direct approach works so much easier than the indirect hinting way many males use.
Just as a while back when I was walking by the local meat market, a flippant remark "I bet a nice black leather collar around your neck would look merveilleux" got not a direct visible response. Yet the next day she was wearing one, as an obvious sign of her wanting to be taken out on a leash by me and ravaged.
So making these kind of remarks aids in uncovering the best meat ingredients for events.
Francois aka EuroTrash
Oh Sam,
Shame on you for picking on the WC that way! You know he is emotionally sensitive about his appearance. Boys will be boys, I guess.
So, you found your way to Himal's Crab Shack? While an interesting and colorful place, I hope your only participation there was to enjoy a few drinks and bop to the music because the crabs mentioned in the name of the "establishment" are not the type one dips into butter for a meal. If you or Simone did touch anyone there please let me know by 5PM Eastern Yak Time and I'll get the penicillin loaded onto the next supply yak.
We at SBPP appreciate Francois' willingness to assist with IT situations. Please pass along the message that the appropriate pay supplement will be added to his salary.
With SBPP love,
D
Funny Sam,
Hey, could you forward me a copy of the Informed Consent used for castration in whatever it is A Stan.
I want to see if their shyster lawyers had the foresight to include "failed castration leading to the beheading of the harem guard.
I hope they did so there is not another frivolous lawsuit clogging the local docket.
The needs a shower cause I still smell of yak and opium,
WC
WC, You do know that only sexually related expenses fall under the financial umbrella of SBPP, right? Even thought this involves a sexual organ, your legal expenses aren't likely to be covered by my superiors.
Oh, and I had a thought about the yak aroma. Bathing in tomato juice helps knock down skunk odors on dogs. Not saying you're a dog, but you do have a fair amount of body hair so it might work. Just being helpful here.
Your ever helpful SBPP Logistics Specialist,
D
Oh, and Sam and Simone,
I thought I would bring you an update about events back here in the Fatherland.
Its finally been proven that our President doesn't know shit about foreign/military policy.
That mealy mouthed, pussy liberal, gun hating, French like, United Nation lovin, lead from behind wimp,
Hopee Changee guy,
Muslim or The Anti Christ.
Who is also a Christian killen, bane on church goin, Real Americans very existence,
Has been proven once and for all to be a total disaster for American Foreign Policy,
The whole world now thinks we are wimps!
Oh, if Mr Bush and Chenny had just been in power we could have had a real war.
Think of what would have happened:
We would have had Khadafy's head on a pike, instead of that rabble Muslim mob,
We could have pulled down his statues with OUR tanks,
We could have another green zone,
We would have a whole new crop of people the water board, (hey our guys need practice)
And on and on and on I could go.
Oh and Mr Obama and Biden have been running down Real American's on a daily basis
Calling for tax hikes on our Leaders and Job Creators
And letting the riff raff fun amok on Wall street and elsewhere ,
Just be glad you are not here to see the sad display of liberal pussyness,
The sad Real American,
WC
Thanks Donna,
Will try the tomato juice,
Those Yaks really stink!
The, but the opium was great,
WC
Dear WC,
It is wonderful to see a person express his thoughts with his tongue planted firmly in cheek!
Well Donna,
Just think how nicley "Job Creators" would have rolled off the silvefr tounge of GWB
Seriously think about it
Too funny!
The always liked watching GWB trying to give a speach
He who was born with a silver foot in his mouth and the late great Ann Richards once noted.
Decider..Job creators
WC
hmmm, I don't think that's quite how I pictured WC.
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