"Simone" and "Sam" have been forced to go on the Lam, after some sloppy security work exposed them to their potential "enemies". Fortunately, they've found help through the SBPP.
("Sex Bloggers Protection Program"). Follow their adventures here until its safe for them to resume their prior alter-egos.

Monday, June 13, 2011

"Catch our Breath" Sunday, and a Consumer Review from Bill and Donna

Molly and Mick were still a little too over-scheduled yesterday, as the big graduation weekend wound down.

Of course, the new graduate cleverly executed an exit strategy, heading north for a week at a great lake beach with her boyfriend and his family. Leaving her doting parents to clean up the mess, and attend a breakfast brunch thrown by her grandmother sort of in her absentia honor. 

Clever girl.

Since we had been losing exercise time, our Switch Day activities were sacrificed for a long bike ride.

But that’s not to say that Molly and Mick were sexually dormant. Mistress was worshipped as she read the blog yesterday morning. And then I gave her a Sunday treat: the Hitachi magic wand was deployed, generating all that writhing and moaning that a mere tongue, no matter how skilled can hardly replicate.  And Slave earned his reward afterwards, as Molly used her best, “fuck me, Slave” voice once the Hitachi had done its best on her.

After that, things were pretty barren here from a sexy POV. The brunch at grandma’s. Slave had to give a lecture about the sad life of a anti-war singer songwriter who flamed out in the late 60’s , early 70’s.  Mistress opted for some time in the sun, a far better choice, since the heat and humidity wave here had finally broken.

Last evening, we did get to go see the new Woody Allen movie, “Midnight in Paris”, with surly teen number 2. We liked it, though the only sex amounted to a few allusions. Lovely vistas of the City of Lights.  Typically witty, if overly loquacious dialogue. 

On the other hand the teen  seemed pretty bored. Apparently high school English must no longer include Hemingway and Fitzgerald, who had cameo roles in this amusing time travel fantasy.

It was Bill and Donna’s turn this month to act as dispassionate (Hah!) consumer product testers for our friends at And since today’s blog is a little lame on the sex side, I thought I would throw in today the outcome of their “research” on their latest choice from the Eden Fantasies Bondage and fetish collection: the SLUT paddle:

From Bill:
What’s not to like about a good paddle which could mark your lover’s bottom with the word “SLUT”! The paddle is 12 ½ inches long with a split and the word slut cut out and backed in red.
I found the weight of the paddle to be a little light, but I have big hands. The grip is well done and gives you a firm grasp for a hardy swing. The paddle also sounds good when applied to a receptive ass cheek and produces a lovely redness.
My one disappointment was that I could not get the paddle to leave SLUT on my beloved’s ass. It became a very nice red and it was toasty warm, but no words appeared. That said, the paddle looks nice, and Donna’s ass looked nice, so no complaints at all.
I accidentally left the slut paddle out when the woman who helps clean came over this week. We later noticed the paddle had been polished and repositioned on the center of the headboard, so I think our helper must have appreciated its beauty, too.  
While I think this paddle would be more effective if the wording were raised a bit, all in all it’s a nice addition to the toy box and when used with the Hitachi provided a very good time for all!

From Donna:
I agree that the paddle is great. It is attractive, makes a great cracking -almost popping-  sound and gives quite a little sting.
As far as imprinting a word across my backside, it left stripes on me and it might leave the word on someone else. Maybe my padding back there that isn’t exactly the right thickness or consistency for imprinting a word. I will absolutely vouch for the fact that Bill gave it a really, really good try from different angles and positions and over the course of a couple of sessions.

In speaking with Mick earlier in the week I told him that we both like the paddle but Bill couldn’t get the word to appear. Mick suggested that I try it on Bill and see whether it might imprint the word on his butt…you know,  for the sake of pure research and investigative theory. Bill’s response was a very simple, “NO!” and a reminder that he is the spanker, not the spankee.
Since it has been recently cleaned and polished, Bill thinks perhaps we should offer to lend it to Molly and see if maybe Mick’s butt is the right consistency to hold a SLUT. I’m not touching that one with a ten foot pole.


beingaisha said...

Sounds like a lovely paddle...


Donna said...

Hey Mick,

I don't want you to think I was saying I wouldn't touch your butt with a ten foot pole. With permission from our beloved CEO and Bill, all things are possible.

What I meant is that since you are in control of most communications with our CEO, also known as She Who Holds the Purse Strings, I wouldn't want you to feel that I had any part in your embarrassment should you be seen at the gym or at the doctor's office with the word SLUT emblazoned across your rump. Eh?

The ever thoughtful and considerate,

UCTMW Enterprises Management Team said...

Glad to see you've got my back(side), Donna. And I'm still surprised that Bill was so reluctant to take one for the team.


xantu said...

Yes, Master and I just reviewed the same TULS paddle. We found the same thing... nice little paddle... but the writing did not appear on the wall. But it was fun as we tried over and over and over.

It is funny that we ended up reviewing the same item and coming to pretty much the same conclusion.


Suzanne said...

Just wondering if the slut paddle comes in different sizes? I love the idea of leaving the paddle (and other things) out for the cleaning lady to see! So many ideas just as I'm ready to leave for most of the summer. Bummer.