"Simone" and "Sam" have been forced to go on the Lam, after some sloppy security work exposed them to their potential "enemies". Fortunately, they've found help through the SBPP.
("Sex Bloggers Protection Program"). Follow their adventures here until its safe for them to resume their prior alter-egos.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

State By State Breakdown

Yesterday saw us wake at a Best Western  in Illinois for morning sex, breakfast in Michigan at a favorite little greasy spoon on the Lakeshore, attend a college football game in Indiana, then complete the daunting 260 drive back home. What was the rush, you might ask? We’ve had enough of sleazy motel beds. And after all the driving we’ve done, somehow 260 miles just seemed like a jaunt around the block.

Fortunately, the outcome of the game had Mick in a good mood. And Mistress, well she is not much of a football fan.  Here’s how she engaged herself at the game.

About 1/3 of the way home, we did stop long enough for a pit stop and a celebratory “meal” at one of Molly’s favorite haunts along the highway home.  She ordered what amounted to a deep dish sundae in a styro-foam cup.

It looked yummier than it sounds. The sugar high and Mick Jagger kept us rolling on home, arriving not long after midnight.

Bt we did find a way to entertain ourselves along the way yesterday.

On our way west, one of you suggested we make sure there was a Molly and Mick sex act in every sate we passed through. And we completed that rather simple assignment on the trip back, knocking off Kansas and Illinois.

But somewhere between breakfast and game time, we decided to make a list of all the states where Molly and Mick had “gotten it on”. I drove while Molly composed this rather primitive if amusing spread sheet, to which I’ve added a few editorial comments:

Maine: Molly. 
NH:  Shut-out.  “Live free or Die”, sounds a little threatening to us.
Vermont: MM together.  (But Molly scraped her knee while biking).
NY: M/M together ( Plenty of nights in Big Apple hotels).
Mass: M/M together.  (Slave impressed Molly with his faux JFK accent, and scored).
Delaware: Too small, with apologies to Joe Biden.
Maryland: Never went on the Edgar Allen Poe tour.
RI: Mick. (But that was in a former life).
Conn: yes, but not with each other.
Penn: Molly. (She had a soft spot for Ben Franklin?)
NJ: MM together. Trip to Shore to visit Mick’s Mother. (Before “Jersey Shore” became a bad joke.)
DC: MM together. This goes back to our “undercover” days, and I’m not referring to the CIA.
VA: (No, unless making out in Subway on way to Reagan Airport counts).
NC: Molly (visits to beach)
SC: Molly (ditto)
Georgia: MM together (Highlight: 1988 Democratic Convention. Much hydration needed).
Florida: MM together (before and after we went public).
Alabama: (We spend as little time as possible in  these types of states).
Miss: (ditto).
Arkansas: No, but a former Governor hit on Molly once.
Tenn: MM together. Before and after climbing Mt. LeCont.
LA:  MM together. Some excellent times in NOLA.
Texas: Never took a roll on grassy knoll.
Michigan: MM together. (Weekends at the beach on Lake shore),
Indiana:  MM together. Visits to Mick’s alma mater.
Ohio:  MM together
Illinois:  MM together.  Hot times on cold nights in Windy City.
Wisconsin: Molly. (She has a soft spot for Madison radicals.)
Minnesota: Molly. (Not sure Mick got the story on this one….maybe when she was a camp counselor?)
West Va: MM together. Visits to grandma’s house.
Kentucky:  MM together. Just a short drive away.
Kansas: MM together (A memorable night last week in Abilene at a sketchy motel).
Missouri; MM together (Show Me (and tell) in Independence).
Oklahoma: MM together (Will Rogers’ hometown).
Nebraska: Off our beaten path.
Iowa: (Can’t believe Molly did not score when she went to caucus in 1988, but so she claims.)
North Dakota: Molly (Lots happened on her geology field trips in College, apparently.
South Dakota: Molly (ditto)
Montana: Molly (ditto)
Idaho: Molly (ditto)
Wyoming: yes, but not together.
Colorado: MM together and separately  (ski tripping at Vail and elesewhere).
Utah: Utah (cold nights in Snow Pine Lodge at Alta).
NM: MM together
Nevada: MM together (Crazy few days in Vegas on Molly’s company expense account)
Washington: MM together (rainy Seattle).
Oregon:  MM together (Rocky coastline for a family wedding).
California: MM together (San Francisco, and points north… Santa Monica too).
Hawaii: both, but with prior spouses. Don Ho did not participate.
Alaska: Molly’s been there, but she claims no one got past 2nd base.

As you can see, Mick was not even close in this contest. Guess I didn’t get around as much as Molly did in my youth. Either that, or Molly just has more fun.  For those of you interested in following in her footsteps, I would recommend majoring in Geology. Apparently those field trips get a little wild when the sun goes down on the granite and limestone.


Bill, Dir of Security UCTMW, Int said...

Maybe a field guide to the best states to have sex in? Maybe with a rating scale for hotels and outdoor venues? Just saying, at five dollars apiece the grumpy teens could be kept in school for ever!

UCTMW Enterprises Management Team said...

Excellent idea, Bill. we may need to involve our entire staff on that project.


Donna said...

We can be packed and ready to go in a matter of minutes! Really, we can!

Do you think maybe we can just leave Alabama off the list? Sex toys are illegal there and my philosophy on my Hitachi is "Don't leave home without it!"


Suzanne said...

Nothing on AZ? Too dry?

I am impressed with the coverage, particularly the Dakotas, Idaho and Montana! Impressive.


WC said...

Very fun Mick and Molly,

I think I need to make a list like that for me and B

The golfing every day,

And playing in a kind of big money match Tuesday

And could just live at my brothers country club

WC but now mid western corspondent

beingaisha said...

That's a great list! I'm impressed... I'm a real slacker next to you two - well, wait, we knew that anyhow, didn't we? :-(


sin said...

Very impressive. I do wonder if the biking accident where Molly scraped her knee had anything to do with the sex act?

Anonymous said...

we forgot AZ (I just assume never go to that state again for so many reasons!) Mick and I DID have sex there -- when I had a corporate meeting in Tuscon! Happy Day!
Suzanne, when one has one of their undergrad majors in Geology, it makes the Western States a fine place for study amongst other things. One of the benes to geology was the other strapping mail students. I did field work in The Connecticut River Valley, CapeCod, Wyoming, The Dakota's, the Sawtooths and The Tetons -- so there you have it.