MEMORANDUM
FROM: MICK COLLINS, DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES
TO: UCTMW STAFF, WORLDWIDE
SUBJECT: MANDATORY ANNIVERSARY STAFF MEETING AT WORLD HQ.
Within a few short weeks, UCTMW Enterprises LLC will be celebrating it’s second anniversary. We have emerged from a tiny little start-up springing from a late night goofy brainstorm, to a burgeoning media empire with more than 200 “followers”, a handful of snarky commentators, and hundreds of lurkers world wide, who troll here for fetching photos of our CEO.
Clearly, the sky is the limit as we move into our third year of blogging. We couldn’t have done it without the imagination, inspiration and profligate expense account abuse of you, our devoted staff.
As I have already discussed with some of you in recent days, the CEO has directed that we schedule a mandatory staff meeting here at the World HQ on Wednesday, October 5th. We apologize for the short notice, but there are several matters that need to be discussed as our vast media empire enters a more competitive environment in the year to come.
Our meeting will also give us the opportunity finally to meet face to face, and share some of the “skills” we have acquired since the empire was launched two short yeas ago in what was then such a humble and thinly staffed operation.
A little “cross-training” is always helpful, though we’ve never been much into “cross-dressing” here at UCTMW. (Not that there’s anything wrong with it, mind you…. It’s just not something our CEO has taken a fancy to for her Slave).
I am currently working on a more detailed agenda, but please anticipate that the following subjects will be covered:
1) Comparative orgasm begging techniques 101, with the CEO, our Senior Correspondent and The Managing Editor sharing anecdotes and strategies.
2) A review of security precautions and self-defense strategies conducted by Bill, our Director of Security, International.
3) Analysis of the competitive environment, with an eye to expansion, consolidation and potential joint ventures with other Sex Blog media empires. (As an example, how about a spin-off blog featuring the household of WC and B, sort of the way “All in the Family” begat “The Jeffersons”?, or maybe one focusing on the roving finger of the WC’s anally obsessed Brother?)
4) Potential Product Placement and Endorsement Deals. (Example: On “Glee”, the cast members describe their parents secretly reading UCTMW and act out little vignettes from our blog during Choir practice).
5) The Introduction of UCTMW logo products.
6) Motivational Speaking Tours and/ or retreats led by the UCTMW staff and hangers-on. (Francois could lead a wine-tasting in the nude segment, as an example).
7) Comparative Cock Management: cut and un-cut variety, as explained by our CEO.
8) New and exacting rules for documenting expenses for reimbursement, described by CFO Mick Collins.
As you can tell, there will be plenty to cover. And I welcome your input for additions to the agenda. We hope to begin promptly at 10 am, unless Mistress is conducting a private conference with Francois that morning.
10 comments:
Mick, what kind of pastries will be served during the meeting, and will there be some Calva next to the coffee?
Mick you mention cross dressing. Now why is it deviant sexual behavior if a male wears a skirt, but then a female wears pants, she has anise ass?
Since when did a woman wearing pants NOT became cross dressing?
Donna requested some more information in regards to the weight training/scene I mentioned yesterday.
I am sure Mick will divulge all after home cumin weekend.
But a bit of intel here:
1) this is a one time and ONE time only scene
2) Babette is fully qualified and certified in this procedure/scene
3) ONLY do this with trained medical personnel available, or have a phone ready with already the 9 and 1 dialed, so you only have to dial another 1.
4) Make sure no viagra is being used since it might interfere with hearth functions
5) ONLY dominants should read Mick's expose on this.
EuroTrash aka François
Big meeting, huh? Wow, you are all corporate all the time, aren't ya?
Laughing....
Glad to see things are going well in the blogging empire.
aisha
Dear Beloved CEO and Mick,
Bill and I will be there!
I will polish up my PowerPoint presentations, including all those photos from La Domaine you requested, over the next few days. Bill is already polishing and sharpening his knives and seems to also be spending a fair amount of practice time with his blow-gun...I'm not sure what that's about but figure it can only enhance his already amazing oral skills, so I'm not saying anything.
I'm concerned we may be late arriving since you nixed our expense account request for a night in a hotel. That means seven hours on the road, and that means no 10AM. Please let me know if you rethink the hotel request, $350.00 a night isn't really all that bad.
A few questions...Is this a clothing optional event? Are the WC and B in the room next to ours? Is Francois staying, too, and in the room on the other side of ours? And are you providing the whips, chains, ropes, dildos and batteries or shall we bring our own.
In anticipation,
Donna
Try to keep costs in line. Don't serve any of those $16 muffins, no matter how good they taste. Find something else to eat :)
Dear Mick,
I am very concerned about this new "austerity" program.
At the very time you are asking your hard working staff to expand the empire, you are clipping our wings.
Therefore, as you know how important my little ski shack is to attracting new business, I will simply ignore that misbegotten idea and continue my plans for improving the ski shack.
FWI, since I guess you kind of have a right to know, my plans for next year are as follows"
Oh and BTW Beloved and Beneficent CEO gave the go ahead but she might not recall as she was in the throws of an "I will agree to anything," orgasm. But not to worry as I have minutes of the meeting.
1) The ski shack is not a true ski in-- ski out-- property as one has to ski onto the porch and manually remove ones skies and WALK, mind you WALK, into the house.
Therefore, we are building a remote control door that opens into the master bedroom so after a tiring day of skiing I will be able to ski directly into my bedroom where my masseuse will be waiting to take off my skies and ski gear and give me a nice soothing rubdown.
2) Which brings me to the next point. I am busily interviewing potential shack masseuses, The must be very comely and able to provide a "happy ending". Each interview lasts on and off for a week so you can see that i am much to busy to attend the staff meeting.
As you know I offered the fly B and myself and three or four of the potential masseuses to Headquarters so the whole staff could try them out ... but good old cheap Mick nixed that idea.
Sorry Donna I know you and Bill would have enjoyed do some of your own interviewing,, but old tight pockets ruined all our fun.
Therefore, make plans to teleconference B and I into the meeting.
We will have two of the interviewees attending to us as we watch the "meeting".
Yours truly,
Master of the humble little ski shack,
WC
The real question is when will you go public so we can buy "shares" and start voting on important corporate decisions?
Mistress Aimee
Oh and Mick,
I think another item we should address at the staff meeting is my proposal that we change out corporate motte to:
"unfair and biased"
The corporate logo guy,
WC
Mick it sounds like you have an expense revolt going on. I wonder if your employees might think about unionizing.
And surely it would be time better spent if you just signed off on some of those clearly legit expenses. Poor WC works so hard, it's evident that he needs that little cabin and the massages are obviously a much needed mental health assist.
All the BS aside, I'm sure this will beat any staff meeting I've attended over the past month!
Thank you Sin,
You are exactly right, the poor old broken down WC does work too hard.
I have given the best years of my life to this company, And now I get treated like this
Old tight pockets should be ashamed of himself,
The thanks Sin for having his back,
WC
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