Monthly UCTMW Staff Meeting... as reported by our Senior Correspondent.

(When I woke yesterday morning, i found this wonderful dispatch from Donna, who has some time on her hands this week in light of flood waters rising to isolate our branch office in the hills of the Great Smokey Mountains. It's always nice to have someone else do the heavy lifting, so old Mick can spend more time lavishing our hardworking CEO with the attention she deserves. Tomorrow I will update you on how Mistress's first personal training session went with the recently promoted WC. Until then, stay dry out there.... and that means you too, Donna! )


Monthly Meeting of all UCTMW Employees

Team Leader for This Month’s Meeting - Senior Correspondent, Donna
“Please finish helping yourself to coffee, tea and the spelt muffins so graciously provided by our beloved CEO, and then be seated.”

*minutes pass* “It’s taking too long people, for Pete’s sake just grab a muffin and come sit down.”

*slowly employees begin to saunter toward the conference table*

“First, I would like to thank Mick for allowing us to meet here in his office and…”

“Molly, would you like to come over here and sit with us? Molly, why are you pushing that chair in front of the door? That’s against fire code regulations and Bill is on the agenda to speak about that very subject a bit later.
Donna looks at clock*

Well, stay there Molly if you really prefer, but we really do need to get moving along.”

“Now, please let me introduce our…”

*sound of closet door opening*

“Molly, we can adjust the thermostat if you’re cold, no need to get that blanket from the closet. Oh, you’re going to sit on the blanket? And drape your legs over the arms of…oh, I see…actually, I’m seeing quite a bit from this vantage point.”

“Molly, you are an amazing professional woman with a beautiful body, an impressive collection of boots and those really are lovely black hose, but I’m not sure everyone at the meeting wants to see...”

*sound of people yelling and stomping their feet* “

Whoa, okay people! No need for violence. My mistake! You do want to see Molly sitting in her favorite chair, and that’s fine, but we absolutely have to get started with our meeting.”

*Donna looks up just in time to see Mick drop to the floor.*

“Mick, did you drop something? Why are you crawling…toward Molly? Mick, we’re trying to have a meeting here! First the WC is a no-show and now you're going to be worshiping Molly during the meeting? We don’t have time to watch...

*more yelling and stomping of feet*

WHAT? DAMN! Okay, I’m mistaken again. Watch if you want, people, but try to at least listen to the reports of the district managers. Mick, please try to keep your slurping and Molly’s orgasmic screaming to a dull roar.”

“And now, Team UCTMW, to finally begin today we will…"

*knocking at door. Donna buries her face in her hands and then turns to Bill.*

“Bill, would you see who is pounding on the door, please? I’m sure if you’ll just pull Molly’s chair out of the way without disturbing the action, Mick will crawl along to stay in position. There you go. I think you can get to the door now.”

*two men enter, one leans over to kiss the CEO and then pats Mick on the back*

“Excellent, the WC has arrived and it appears he has brought a guest. Who is that with you, WC? It’s your brother? *

All butts slam firmly into seats and even Mick sits on his butt on the floor as he scoots closer between Molly’s legs.*

What a pleasant surprise, young man! As you may have noticed, your reputation precedes you. If only you and your magic fingers had been here a bit earlier, perhaps everyone would have been seated and we could have started on time.”

*In a strained voice, Donna begins again.*

“Today we will be working on the expansion plans for...”

*whistling sounds as something flies through the air*

“Bill, honey, please put the knives away. There will be no target practice during my meeting. What’s that? I don’t care if Mick did say it would be fine to use WC’s contract as a target, it’s not. And I can’t concentrate with knives flying past my head like that.”

*Suddenly the sound of beeping noises and odd snatches of The Greatest Hits of the Grateful Dead fill the air as multiple cell phones, IPADs and PDAs in the room ring in unison, signaling the end of the time allotted for the UCTMW monthly meeting. Donna takes a deep breath, shrugs her shoulders, grabs a muffin and joins the rest of the staff in watching Mick finish worshiping the beloved CEO.*